::taTa::

decided to blog since i cant get to slp..duno y these daes tend to stay up till late late unless i m realli tired..guess it mst b of those last nites last wk toking to her..these daes we dun contact that much le, i guess coze both of us r bz with work..or maibe she dun nid one to convict her loneliness to for the moment..so much questions are left unanswered..and i also dunoe how to put into words..mood swing rather badly these daes..perhaps is coze of stress n her..sighz sighz..just have so mani tings on my mind that i doubt much ppl understand..nw i understand n experience fuli a breadwinner's feeling n task..it's so hard n painful..i felt lyk giving up..bt i just cant..i mst hold on to it..no matter wad..till my dad is out..i cant disappoint my family..bt then..i m realli tired...i realli do..is lyk having a stone on u n u cant breathe further..having that limited air capacity in u n surviving the whole mountain climbing is tough..i m suffocating till the stage that i m waken up by numerous nightmare a night..cant realli slp well..haix..at this pt of time i just wish to c her msg or cal..bt she nv did..haix..true enuff that i m looking perfectly fine on the surface,bt how much i m going thr do ppl ard mi noe??i guess the fingers of a palm is just up to the standard onli..i dun expect much..i just expect a word of concern frm the ppl i luv occasionlly.bt still i m alwasy receiving disappointing expression n actions frm them..sighx sighx..sighing rather much as daes goes by..onli realising nx wk is christmas at supper just nw..guess i mst b too bz to realised that xmas is just rd the corner..as usual i guess i b working or rotting at hm..just hate christmas..though i m alwasy wishing ppl hapi xmas..sound so fake man..when i hate it so badly.. i just dislike the season to the core..coze it simply just remind mi of the bastard..guys r jerks!!wad shit it is that ppl sae it is a season of giving n asking for forgiveness..is absolute bullshit..christmas alwasy link mi back to him n the memories..pui!enuff of the asshole..a ultra disappoinment of the century..bt neverthless i still hope i will enjoy christmas once again..may it be frenx or perhaps her..hope lar..c hw it goes ba...worst cum to worst..stay hm c walls lorx..alot of things on mi mind..bt realii have problem putting into words..nt that i m stupid or lousy in spelling or wad shit..just that i duno how to express myself..amazing rite??ppl lyk mi who is so expressive..for once complaining that she duno wad to sae..bt reaching the stage that i feel lyk going on a holidae alone to a island..or with the one i luv..so sweet..no fan nao..just relaxing of the body..n enjoy the world of life..that be years later i guess that i will have the chance..
missing her real badly these daes..5daes since i last seen her at my store opening..hopefuli tml will drop by town n c her there..bt she doing opening..wonder if she be there by the time i reach town..*pray pray*..guessd she mst b keeping her mind occupied so much frm tinking of her till we dun tok so much le..missed her..haix..gtg for camp liaox..tata..

~ItS jUS D paSSsiOn....w/o It I WuN B wHo I aM..~