SRRR 2005

FINALLI the competition has the curtain drawn!!*heaved sighx of relieve*..it's so tiring man...over the wks...stuggling with term test and competiton..you wouldnt noe how i yearn todae 2 come man...i utterly shagged! n i nid a break!

6th placing we got 4 this yr competiton..in the eyes of mi..i would frankly say i'm nt sastisfied...if i were to compare with my last yr team...when we gt 4th...for sure i m nt being fair to the current team..bt then..i cant help to feel worried for the future of the ladies team..in the eyes of the school..from 4th to 6th is consider a de-provement.. which may in return gif them another excuse to shoot us for the closure of the ladies team..

i cant and i dun wish it to happen..bt i gt the heart bt nt the drive..it's nt smth that is within my ctrl...i cant work it and write it my way lyk wad i tink..if only that cud happen...i m nobody bt the god...

i didnt play amazingly..no..it wasnt andrew's idea..bt it was mine entirely..supposedly to be a Junior's match onli..bt since hazel insist in going dwn..i didnt sae much..reason for mi to put such a lineup was v.simple..though placing was impt for every competion esp at this crucial time between the fate of the team in the hand of the sch..i told myself to drop the thot of them for once..i decided to give both the ladies and mi myself a chance..letting them gain an extra experince from a official competion (and for some..their virgin on)..i pray for every sec of the match..for the well being of the team..hoping that they put in nth bt 200%..hoping that they play well...bt tings doesnt turn out well in the first half..though with my yelling and shouting at the sidelines...bt during the break..i gave them the reminders...waking them up from their la-la land....tings turn out beta in the second half..bt still i wasnt sastified..though the lineup was done by mi...and i did approach andrew for some advice..he leave the decision to mi..i m glad it was that..bt still..i know (or i feel) that he's warning mi nt to regret wadever choice or decision i made..he has owas been supportive of mi...though he owas tok to mi in some attitude way..those ah beng language..(hahah :P)..bt i noe when he gif mi the beneift of the doubt...he realli let mi have my way..unless he see the pt that he shd alert mi of some matters..lyk y i shd not do tis n that..relectantly,i pull myself to announce to the team that all of them r playing and i m nt..frankly speaking..i realli wana play todae's match damn damn damn badly..bt i told myself to erase the ideas of placing and the possible regrets in mi..i shd have absolute faith in those ladies...perhaps thats the main reason y i feel so disappointed...

i gave them an extra chance to play, but sadly some didnt do as well as they should...they somehow prove others right that they are nt ready to be in the team yet..at the point of time, promises that were made on land became broken...i feel so disappointed...that i wana cry out at the blow of the whistle to signal the end of the match..regrets just filled my mind..follow by anger..and nt long soon...the questions and pondering..it has been some time that i let myself out totally...

perhaps lyk wad the gers said, they put in their best for todae's match...maibe it's right,as they are the one playing in the pool wherease i'm not in there with them playing...
bt still..at the bottom of my heart, i still feel the un-sastisfaction...am i feeling this way coze that my expectation is too high for them to achieve?or isist my way of leading?or perhaps time will tell its cause?

if it was gona be the time issue..all i can sae is i have nt much time left..by the coming IVP..is either a Do or Die tinge..i realli duno how to bring across the urgency of that crucial competiton..and at the same time make them love this sports with their heart..i m at lost...i m tinking and tinking..too much? i duno...6more mths to go (tentatively)..how much can we improve...i suppose is a limit..bt i still carry the hope and trust in them..for i know that at the bottom of their heart,they too doesnt wana disappoint mi..bt i would also have to face the fact of reality..that they bound to meet barriers too..for as long as each and every single one of them do see the light of the horizon in them..they will bound to do well and even excel..bt for the challenge cum barrier nw is..nt all of them see the light YET!

let mi re-emphasised...i dun have much time le!!!how to make them see the light within such a short period of time?!wth!!i hate this..i simply just hate it..preaching works to certain extend for selective grp of ppl...bt some simply just find it irritating...wad kind of other approach to take?i simply duno...i m lost once again..i nida brainstorm again..hair gona drop more...going botak soon sia...haiz..

bt i still feel wad i expect is nt sth that's un-achievable..or shd i sae it's rather near-sighted..just expecting them to put in their 200%..doing wad they had alwasy practice right and accrutate...play by tactis...attack orderly..defend organise a bit...lyk that v.hard to acheive ma?haix..i duno..

though this bunch of kids had been close to mi and stuff lyk that...bt still when tok about team stuff..there still this un-opness in them..i still feel that they are nt speaking out EXACYLY how they feel..i cant forced them i know..i understand veri veri clearly..bt then...i just wana let them know..in a TEAM..tings dun work that way...

just saw the pics Eunice uploaded..pics taken from the competiton..looking thr at those joyus and cheerful pics..i cant help to calm myself dwn a little..this gers indeed brought lots of fun and joy to my life..i woundt deny and forget their great accompanyment..those memories they brought for mi..i thank god for the fate he created for us..

perhaps i shd just end here for the nite..with the quote which i have for the upcoming IVP..

*3 Cheers for TPCP Ladies!!!

~Even if we lose, we must lose with pride!~