amAzED...

its surprising to c hw ppl lose their passion in sth so fast...in just a second of time..
i may be a bit kua zan..bt thats the reality..
i beginning to distant away frm sth that i used to love veri much..use to put in all my 101% into it..sometimes even nt tinking of anithing in return..bt just slock into it..without ani complaints..all i wan was sastisfaction of my ability..coze i wana tell myself that i'm the onli that i can do it..
the past had passed..to the extend frends complaint that i had no time for them..coze im owas so enrossed with work..
tings had changed..i duno wad excatl cause the change in mi..perhaps it's the environment..it's the ppl..i no longer feel the passion in mi burning fast lyk the train engine..i felt that my focus had been diversified to other area..or maibe i shd sae..i feel that i'm much of a beta use in other areas such as organinsing projects or wadever.....my confidence is higher there..rather than the good old times..i felt so demoralised sometimes..esp when ppl dun appreciate what u do..they wan nth out frm themself..bt owas sucking the most out frm u..maibe u will sae that i'm doing sth that i volunteered or wad..n i shd nt ask for sth in return..true..i agree..bt i just cant find that in mi nw...i feel that i'm able to spend more time with my ladies...with my frends..with my family..thought money is a big problem..bt still i feel the old mi..so happy with the reality..no worries or stress in tinking that m i performing or waD..
gosh..some of u may tink too that im slapping myself..doing so much le..nw come sae all this shitty stuff..bt thats mi..once i lose interest in sth..i will tink back of those negative shit..those unfair moments..bt still..i m still glad that i climbed to the stone that i'm todae..i truely learnt lots of tings about life..i do..realli...
maibe lyk wad angela sae..wad i nid is just a break for myself..
bt then..when i told watts..she just sae:"i take that i nv hear anithing.."
wads the matter?
i cud have just MIA...n vanish in thin air..
bt i didnt..i still respect the mgmt..i inform them b4 hand..
bt still thats the crapp reply i heard..im serious when i told her..bt still thats her reply
maibe i shd learn frm other partners..just quiet quiet go off for a break....
worst to worst suspension lor..nt sae i nv sae nw..bt they dun acknowledge it..
make tings sadder...angela leaving..it just bring my mood dwn even further..
all the negative tings is just pouring onto mi all at once..
i wonder wads wrong..i realli duno..-haix..
i wana just escape all the responsibility all at once..bt i tink n noe it's super irresponsible of mi if i do that..bt at the back of my mind..there that thot that telling mi..nobody care about my feeling y shd i care about theirs?fair isnt it..bt i duno..
nobody spare a thot for mi n angela b4..
all they wan frm us we gif them..sometimes even without any complaints..
nt sae we nv pre-em them that they nid to start trg those potentials..bt apparently none take our words seriously..perhaps tats the reason they nt letting us go..or shd i sae mi..

angela: shd i insist lyk u..bt i just have no guts..sighx..i dun lyk to turn tings sour..i duno..im in dilemma..shd i be brave lyk the dolphin and smile to all my probs?bt i have no more energy to do so...u r gone..ppl left r just more of partners than frends to mi..haix..though i dun wish to let u go..bt i noe n u shd be persuing for ur future..i cant be selfish..

i just feel so dwn tonite..all the sudden..just wana pour out my heart..
i simply just cant help it animore..
though i may appear to b hapi..smiling..bt still at the bottom of the heart..there's owas sth that i nida tink about..y is this so..i wan sth perfect..bt i noe i will nv have it..thats' life rite>? i noe..

i cant help it animore..i wana cry out once more........
im such a loser...

i noe myself..if i nt hapi..i realli wun smile frm my heart de..n i will nt do sth to my best..

~i nida break frm work..~